All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
