my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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