I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
