Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
