so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
