Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
