My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
