I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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