It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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