I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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