Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
