By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
