We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
