Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
