yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
