so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
