I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
