if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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