It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
