You just made me feel so damn special
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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