So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
