I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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