Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
