her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
