just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
