Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
