Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
