my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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