After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
