Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
