Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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