they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
