so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
