Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
