My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
