So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
