First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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