I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize