so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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