That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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