i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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