If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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