Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
