I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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