stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
