im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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