Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
