Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
