You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
