her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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