To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
