you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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