I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Michael Bay diarrhea
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
