i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
