Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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