...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
