I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
then he tried to convert me to islam
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize