week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
