Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
