Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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