you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
