It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
