Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
