The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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