When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize