How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
