am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
