you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
