yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
