i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
