I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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