i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
